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Learning to love while single

We can and deserve to experience love regardless of a relationship status.   |   Photo Illustration by Caroline Sommers/ THE CHIMES
 

 

Biola may be a “ring by spring” school, but the university will not refund your tuition if you graduate without getting married. As time passes by, it seems as if Biolans develop a natural inclination to joke about the eccentric dating culture and idiosyncrasies that exist on campus. For some single people, the stigma of not being in a relationship might pressure them to think that they are not worthy of receiving or giving love. Singleness does not equate to being incognizant about love, and a relationship status does not determine one’s ability to understand love.

The Ultimate and The Highest Goal

The author of this article is a twenty-year old with no actual experience with dating and relationships. For what it is worth, my commentary on Biola’s dating culture is based on observation and may be flawed and ill-advised. I am also not writing this to pass judgement on couples. The love shared between two partners is an incredible expression of the beauty of human life.

In “Man’s Search for Meaning,” Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl writes about how love saved him from the deathly throes of the concentration camps in one of the darkest times of human history. Frankl notes how the simple act of thinking about his wife motivated him to survive the extreme suffering caused by the harsh Polish winter and the camp’s brutality. It was there that Frankl realized, “The truth — that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which Man can aspire…I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved.”

Frankl’s life and experience is a testament to the fact that love is an incredibly powerful entity, and as James Baldwin declared, “Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is growing up.”

Love Beyond Relationships

Relationships are important, but they are not the only way to experience love. We can all experience love by our connections with our family members, friends and the people we meet in this short journey we call life.

We are all students. Education is supposed to be about the cultivation of the mind and the love for justice and truth. In the context of education, our pursuit for knowledge and virtue should be our first love. How can a person have a deep and meaningful relationship with God if he or she cannot nourish his or her mind?  

Not everyone was meant to be in a romantic relationship, but everyone deserves love. For whatever reason, there will be Christians who will be single out of circumstance or choice. Because of this, we are called to love unconditionally.

And for those waiting for “the one” — go read a book, choose a hobby or travel for the time being. A character in a famous movie called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button once said about life: “It's never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to thing.” Flourish in these four years of college and learn about love regardless of a relationship status.

 

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