Kira McCracken assures Biola students to enjoy the journey whether single or taken.   | Olivia Blinn/THE CHIMES

When I started my Biola journey 10 years ago in August 2003, I had my own set of expectations for what “ring by spring” might mean for me. I can remember so clearly all the emotions and excitement associated with starting college: move-in day, the hard goodbye with my parents, SOS week and my first Alpha all-hall where I met my current best friends. Although I don’t remember exactly when I first heard the term “ring by spring,” I am sure it was within my first week at Biola.

And just like that, the pressure of finding “the one” began. “Could it be him?” I thought to myself while staring off at a stranger in my Old Testament survey class. “Or maybe him?” I thought, while daydreaming about the guy working out next to me at the Fitness Center.

I was certain I would meet my future husband at some point during my four years at Biola. I mean, if I couldn’t find a husband at Biola, where else would I ever meet someone?

Graduation day came and went, and even though I didn’t get my “ring by spring” or graduate with my “MRS degree,” I was sure it was coming soon.

Fast forward two years: a failed relationship with my supposed soulmate and a crisis of faith. I found myself running — not toward the altar, but away from God. At the core of my pain was the reality that my identity had always been defined by being in a relationship. Without it, I found myself asking God, “Why didn’t marriage happen for me the way it did for all my other Biola friends?”

Those post-college years were the darkest of my life. Soon I was 25 years old, single, alone and scared that this loneliness was here to stay … oh, and preparing to be a bridesmaid for the 11th time.

On my 25th birthday I shared with my best friend and her husband that I didn’t understand why God would create the longing in me for marriage and then not give me the chance to experience it.

Instead of reassuring me that my time would come, they responded, “So what happens if you never get married? How will you spend your life?”

Crickets. The question I never wanted to face.

In that moment I was confronted with the fact that I suffered from the “life will really start when I find a soulmate, land a job, have kids, fill in the blank” syndrome. I didn’t value the here and now because I didn’t think God’s call on my life would really start until I got married.

But I stand as a witness to tell you: Whether you are single or married, you have the same opportunity to experience God and live a full life right now.

During my twenties I needed more voices speaking that truth to me. Life is now. And the promise of God’s faithful presence is never changing, always abounding, whether you are single, dating, engaged or married.

Once I began to embrace my life as a single woman, I felt like the richest woman in the world. God used that time to blossom me into a woman of strength and gave me the chance to pour into the lives of younger women and to explore the passions inside me — not without tears, but also not without joy.

I encourage you, Biola students, whether you are single or dating: Appreciate the life that is right in front of you. Invest in God’s family. Commit to a local church. Seek out a mentor. Bloom where you’re planted. Don’t let these four years pass you by while you’re out looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. And if you think you've found the man or woman you want to marry, read “The Meaning of Marriage” by Tim Keller.

My Biola “ring by spring” story did end up happening — seven years “late” in the halls of Upper Metzger while working here full-time. It happened only after I had come to peace with the possibility of it not happening — only after I realized that I could flourish and thrive as a single woman in the bounty of God’s grace.