Avoiding the awkward turtle
Life is filled with the awkward turtle. If you have no idea what that is, place your right hand directly over your left and wiggle your thumbs in an awkward motion. See? There you have it. But seriously, life has awkward moments scattered across it, and some are more frequent than others. Because life does not come with a survival guide, I have provided a few tips for getting out of the Big Kahuna of awkward moments.
Moment #1: the “Left-Right-Left…right? Shuffle”
So you’re walking along the path, and being a good American driver, you go to pass a person walking the opposite way on your right hand side. Problem is, that person is thinking of passing you by going to their left. Recalculating, you switch to the left hand side of the path, only now; the other person has recalculated to mirror your movements. This could occur at least three or four times and can quickly cause embarrassment in one or both parties.
The solution? Walk with purpose. If you’ve ever walked through a large crowd of people you’ll notice that there are two types of people: those who move others out of their way and those who move out of others’ way. Ideally, you’d like to be the mover. Here’s how. Set your shoulders squarely, walk with a brisk pace and look straight ahead. This will convey an air of confidence that will help others easily move out of your way and know which way you’re going.
Moment #2: a greeting fiasco
Let’s face it. It’s hard to keep up with the latest fads and trends. One of those trends just happens to be handshakes, high-fives and greetings of the like. Here’s the scenario. You just got done “studying” (you were really just perusing Facebook) and you meet your friend Jake on your way to Commons. He goes to give you a grasp-your-hand-slide-off. The problem is Jake didn’t get the memo that the your-hand-slide-off-pound-knuckles is in season. So he drops his hand after the grasp-slide movement. Now you’re left with an awkward fist hanging in the air.
The solution? You deck him with that spare fist. Honestly, the best thing to do is to call attention to it. They say the best defense is a good offense, so mention it like he was the one who messed up. “Jake! You forgot to pound it man!” and then continue.
Moment #3: the goodnight grossness
Saying goodnight or walking a friend to their dorm is not an uncommon occurrence at Biola. However, arriving at the friend’s dorm can place you next to a couple participating in an awkward embrace or a DTR. What’s to be done? The goodnight banter might not take more than a few seconds but it’s awkward to be standing next to an extremely close couple.
The solution? There is none. Either get out of there quickly or withstand the awkwardness (or cough enough to get them to stop.) In all honesty, it’s just one of those things we have to deal with. But, couples, do be gracious and use discretion in your PDA; be considerate of those around you.